The Deep End

I have been hard at work for the past five days on my book, and have made quite a bit of progress.  The problem is that I'm still in a state of absolute panic. I've experienced it with every book so far. You finally get started and no matter how much progress you make, it seems a drop in the bucket compared to what you need to do. No matter how fast you write, you have this feeling that it's not fast enough. It's like when you are shoved into the deep end of a pool. Your head goes under water and you come up as quickly as you can, sputtering and gasping for air. Your mind "knows" that you are safe, but there's that moment of blind panic that happens before the more-rational part can talk you down.

For me, this is one of the more unpleasant parts of working on a book, and it doesn't go away until I'm at the halfway point--or beyond.  Right now, I'm questioning whether I was completely nuts to propose the 50-day deadline. And this panicky feeling is a big reason why I have problems getting started. I'm looking at a huge stack of research articles that I've barely dented. How in world will I ever get through them all? And do I even need to?

On the other hand, I can take comfort in knowing that I've finally begun. Take a deep breath.

Having been through this many times before, I know that it will get better. It's just time for my rational brain to kick in. Still waiting.....

In the meantime, I can do some work on my cognitive pathways chapter.